How to Survive Twin Toddlers

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How to Survive Twin Toddlers

We all know twin babies can be a lot of work. So when you get past twin infancy (and they’re sleeping through the night), life with twins should be easier…right? But then you realize: you now have twin toddlers. Twin toddlers come with their own unique sets of challenges. That’s why I’m sharing tips on how to survive twin toddlers.

Because while toddler twins can be hard, they can also be incredible!

The term toddler generally covers the period of after age 1 (when they’re classified as “infants”) to before age 3 (when they become “preschoolers”). As we currently have 2.5 year old twins, we’ve gone through 1.5 years of twin toddlerhood. Here are the tips I’ve researched and picked up on how to manage toddler twins and make life easier…or at least staying sane!

Why Are Toddler Twins Challenging?

Toddlerhood is the time when children take those first grasps towards independence. The refrain of “NO, I DO IT!!” becomes a chorus, as we wait not-so-patiently for the 10min it takes them to put on shoes. Actually, scratch that: the 10min it takes for them to realize they can’t actually put on their shoes.

Your twins’ fledging independence is what allows them to grow into independent adults and contributing members of society. It’s ultimately a great thing – but that independence doesn’t happen overnight.

It happens in little steps: learning how to dress themselves, how to share, how to set boundaries. They’re learning a whole lot about how to become independent little people right now, and that requires a whole lot of patience from their twin parents.

Twin toddler time is also when fighting can start. If your twins are anything like mine, they can be surrounded by a dozen toy cars and yet somehow both want the same one. They’re learning how to share, and sharing isn’t an easy concept to grasp. Heck, we all know adults who have trouble with it! Yet we expect our toddler twins to master it?

The Best Things About Toddler Twins

So twin toddlerhood isn’t exactly easy. But never forget, even on the challenging days (actually, especially on the challenging days!), there are so many perks of toddler twins!

Twin toddlers are hilarious, loving, cuddly little creatures that can bring so much love into your life. They let you see the world through the eyes of a child again. You get to introduce them to things that you loved as a child, see their excitement in the smallest things, and watch as they make an impact in the world.

Truly, it’s pretty magical if you let yourself fall into their world!

So, How Do I Make Toddler Twins Easier?

Is there anything you can do to make toddler twins easier?

Oh yes!

There are hundreds of things you can do to make toddler twins easier! I’m going to highlight the top ten tips that have helped make life easier with twins in our house, but truly, this article could become a novel.

My top tips on how to survive twin toddlers:

Create a List of Routines
Use Activity Stations
Turn Everything Into Toys
Get Into the Sun
Have a Routine
Snacks, Snacks, Snacks
One-On-One Time
Take Breaks
Give Yourself Grace

1. Create a List of Activities

When toddler twins are crying and/or fighting, you can be tempted to lean on screen time (in our house it’s learning videos, but still).

Instead, write down a list of activities that you can try, leaving screen time as a last resort. Think of everything from toys that you’ve hidden away, to stickers, to backyard obstacle courses, scavenger hunts, crafts, construction, art, dance, FaceTiming family, anything you can think of.

Then, when kids are bored and you’re frustrated (which can happen a lot with twin toddlers), you have a bank of solutions at your disposal.

I also love to stash toys away out of reach. The benefits are twofold: having less clutter on the floor and having fresh toys they’re not bored of.

2. Use Activity Stations

With twins, you naturally think of activities they can do together. However, having separate activity stations set up can be incredibly helpful in creating a quiet house.

Think play dough in the kitchen, trains in the living room, and Little People set up in the bedroom. Or, painting in the kitchen, stickers on the dining table, and bubbles in the yard.

Though, let’s get real. Bubbles will win attention every time. Actually, bubbles should be its own category for when things go crazy. They are magical.

Having separate stations set up will help avoid fighting over the same thing, and ensure they have options when they get boooooored.

3. Turn Everything Into Toys

Next up on how to survive twin toddlers is finding ways to increase “toys” in our house. Because no matter how many toys you have, toddler twins will naturally get bored of them AND fight over the same one.

Honestly, I was surprised how many things turned into toys. Small shipping boxes became car garages and doll houses. Packing paper became art easels. Disposable water bottles became rainbow sparkle containers. Bubble wrap can occupy them for an hour (supervised).

And a refrigerator box? That is a magical tool that can become anything, from a play house to a rocket ship.

The theme is to get creative and think outside the box (or in this case, inside the box!).

4. Get Into the Sun

Sunshine is a magical elixir. When we’re having a hard day, getting outside can make even the hardest days better. No list of ways to make twin toddlers easier would be complete without getting outside.

The weekends when we stay cooped up (whether by necessity or laziness) inevitably lead to more bickering.

But when we bundle everyone up and head to a park, pool, splash pad, beach, mountain, hike, or adventure, we almost always end up with calmer kids.

The combination of physical activity, fresh air, vitamin D, and nature seems to refresh us all. Even when we end up back home, everyone seems calmer and gets along better for hours after the trip.

Scheduling outdoor adventures into your week can truly be great to help make toddler twins calmer.

5. Have a Routine

When the 2020 pandemic started, both my husband and I transitioned to working from home in corporate roles and simultaneously watching 3 kids under 5.

You can imagine the chaos that ensued in video calls! I recall one 60min Zoom call, where I presented, broke up 3 fights, did an Elsa braid, helped someone into a Moana costume, prepared 3 snacks, and helped guide our executive team.

I realized pretty quickly that we desperately needed a routine.

Our routine centered around food: one of they key quiet times in our home. And when they got bored? We referred to our activity list & set up stations.

The predictability of this routine benefited the twins – but it also benefited us. Here was our routine:

8am: breakfast
<free play>
10am: snack
<morning activity from a list>
12pm: lunch
<free play + outside>
2pm: nap
4pm: snack
<afternoon activity from a list>
6pm: dinner
<free play>
7pm: bath, PJs, milk, story
8pm: bed

6. Snacks, Snacks, Snacks!

When one of our kids is way more irritable than normal, we usually realize it comes down to three things:

Overtired
Under the weather
Hungry (“hangry” is true for all ages)

This is yet another reason why having a routine can be so helpful. Sticking to a routine helps ensure kids’ blood sugar levels don’t get too low. Every ~2-4 hours we have food built into the schedule.

Honestly, figuring out how to survive twin toddlers would be extra challenging if we didn’t budget in snacks.

Similar to point #1 above (creating a list of activities), you can do this for food too, creating a list of snacks. That way, you’re not relying on cheerios for every snack. We make sure to have lots of healthy snacks on point, like bananas, strawberries, avocado, apples, oranges, cucumber, snap peas, tomatoes, etc. And yes, a big bag of unsweetened Cheerios.

7.One-On-One Time

Let’s be real – when you have toddler twins, we are so often desperate for solo time. That’s why most of these tips to make twin toddlers easier aim to help manage toddler twins while also getting you time back in your day. Trust me, I can so relate to how busy you are!

That said, investing in one-on-one time for your twins can be so valuable for your kids AND save you time in the long run.

In addition to the reasons above that can make twins irritable, another big reason is when they’re craving attention.

It’s barely an exaggeration when I say I was interrupted 384 times during the writing of this blog post. The latest interruption was screaming that I didn’t make “the right kind” of elephant with play dough.

When I put down the food prep, the cleaning products, the laundry, the devices, and the million other things I have on the to do list and truly focus on my kids, they’re so much better behaved. And not just during that period – I often also notice them behaving better in the hours to come.

Even better, when I take an afternoon off and book a one-on-one activity for just one twin, they come back feeling incredibly special. As a bonus, I try to pick something I actually enjoy for their activity: a swim in the ocean, a visit to the aquarium, a trip to the lake, a fancy tea party, etc.

It becomes something we both really look forward to. Even though it’s still parenting, with only one child and doing something I love, it almost feels like mom self-care time. Cue the confetti!

8. Take Breaks

Speaking of self-care…

There’s no hard & fast rule that says both parents have to be on point every hour of the day. Giving your partner a 2-4 hour break to fill their bucket every weekend day can help them an even better parent. Likewise, you take your 2-4 hour break.

You can spend that time doing anything makes you your best self. Working out, lounging in bed, brunch with girlfriends, shopping, driving to the lake to read or write, rocking your side hustle, going to a movie – whatever fills your bucket.

While your kids may be your whole world, you’re still a full person. Booking time to yourself EACH week, for each of you, ensures you have the time you need to recharge.

My husband and I try to do this at least once a week. Truly, it makes life feel so much more balanced. When I come back, I’m a way better parent to my twins.

9. Give Yourself Grace

Parenting twins can be hard.

People don’t always talk about that. They want to see the highlight reels, the stories of it going well.

Yesterday I posted on Instagram the quote “Twin mom, you are stronger than you know”. So many people replied saying they needed to hear this, or that they were in tears just before they read it. It became my most engaged with post, ever.

That fact simply highlights that we all struggle with twins sometimes. If you go through a rough patch, it SO doesn’t mean you’re a bad twin mom.

It means you’re human. It means you’re showing up every day, giving yourself to your twins, trying with all your might to be the a great mom.

If you don’t have the Pinterest perfect house, or you’ve stopped park visits because your twins are in a bolting phase, or you can’t bear the thought of taking them to the grocery store again after the last time, it’s okay.

An easier phase will come. It ALWAYS does.

In the interim, as long as your kids are safe and loved, it just might be time to be okay doing what you need to to get through it.

If they don’t have home baked meals on the table every night, or a sparkling clean home, or a packed schedule of activities – yet they’re safe and loved? That’s the priority. We do what we can handle – sometimes that a little, sometimes it’s a lot. Either way, it’s okay.

And if you need external help (either paid help or medical support)? That’s a-okay by me. It means you’re investing in being your best for your kids. That’s a surefire sign that you’re a great mom.

You Can Survive (and Thrive!) with Twin Toddlers

Caring for twin toddlers is hard. But you’re strong, twin mom!

The fact that you’re here, that you’re researching how to survive twin toddlers, proves that you’re going to be great.

If these twin toddler tips helped you, please send me a note at hello@twinwinning.com. I love hearing from you!

And remember, when things become too much – break out the $0.99 bottle of bubbles.

When nothing else seems to work – bubbles.