How I Got My Twins to Sleep Through the Night
Oh, mama. I’ve been there. I’ve been the exhausted, utterly exhausted twin mom just trying to get through the days. Truly, the first six months with twins felt like a blur to me…until we got our twins to sleep. Having been through it, it’s become my passion to help other twin moms thrive. That’s why I’m here to share how I got my twins to sleep through the night.
Remember – however exhausted you feel, you will sleep again. Your twins will sleep through the night eventually, and your exhaustion will pass. Whether you choose to sleep train or not, many of these tips you can incorporate to help twins sleep.
So, if you’re exhausted and wondering “How can I get my twins to sleep at night“?, know that so many twins moms have felt the same thing (yours truly included). Let’s dive in and talk about ways to get twins to sleep.
1. They Slept in their Own Cribs from Day 1
Some twin moms choose to let their twins sleep in the same crib from day one. They feel their twins were close together the last nine months and it will feel more natural.
While this can be true, we also know that the safest place for babies to sleep is a crib with nothing else in it (including another squishy body). Additionally, I had read that if you start twins in the same crib, it can sometimes be difficult to separate them. That certainly wouldn’t work to get twins to sleep through the night.
For those two reasons, our twins slept in separate cribs from day one. There was no adjustment once they had become accustomed to a bassinet or sharing a crib – it’s all they ever knew.
2. I put them down sleepy but awake
I read somewhere that a baby falling asleep in your arms and waking in their crib is like you falling asleep in a comfy bed and waking up on the front lawn. You have no idea how you got there, and you want your comfy space back – now.
It was important to me that my twins learned that cribs were for sleeping from an early age. I tried to do the routine of Eat – Play – Sleep (meaning they were not fed right before sleep time), but truthfully it didn’t often work.
What did work was making sure that, if they fell asleep, they were woken before going into their crib. Soft brushes on the cheek, saying their name, even a cool cloth – gently rousing them helped them know that they were going into their crib to sleep – not my arms.
3. They stayed on the same schedule
Twin A wakes at 2am to sleep, but Twin B is sleeping soundly a few feet away? Sorry Twin B…you’re getting woken to eat too.
No matter how deep their sleep seems, seemingly without fail, they will wake up less than an hour later and be on different schedules for the rest of the night. Do you want to wake up every hour of the night to feed a baby? Me either.
That’s why whenever a baby woke to feed, I scooped up the other, fed them both, then prayed for a 3hr sleep window before they needed it again.
That’s why we stuck to a schedule. Check out the sample twin schedules we used here:
4. We Didn’t Sleep the Day Away
When you’re exhausted and your twins have been up all night long, it can be so tempting (SO tempting) to let them sleep longer during the day.
However, remember that babies (and adults) can only sleep so much during a 24hr period. If they accumulate too many hours of sleep during the day, there’s a good chance you’re going to pay for it at night. And let’s be real – would you rather sleep at night or during the day?
5. I prioritized Consistency
We decided on a wake up time, and woke our twins up. Even if it was a rough night. Even if we were exhausted. I get them up, get things going, and put myself down for a nap when they go for a nap.
Because keeping them on a routine means they have a sense of security, of knowing what’s to come. Getting our twins to sleep through the night was a priority, so we stuck to our schedule as much as we could.
6. Bright Days, Dark Nights
Sunlight can be one of the best ways to regulate our sleep-wake times as humans.
Making sure babies have access to bright light in the mornings, and lack of bright lights at night, can help their bodies set to our 24 hour clock. That means the curtains come up in mornings as soon as it’s their waking time. It also means nighttime should be a dark, and frankly boring, time.
Some sites even recommend no eye contact at night, so babies don’t have any stimulation at all. Whether you go that far or not, you can still make nighttime dark and boring.
7. White Noise
There’s not much to say about this one, other than the fact that white noise seems to help all humans sleep, including babies.
My preferred method was a rotating fan that also cooled the room and circulated air, both factors in decreasing the risk of SIDS in infants.
8. I embraced the the dream feed
The dream feed, or the practice of waking babies to feed, usually when you’re on your way to bed yourself, really worked for us.
If I put the twins down at 8pm and went to bed myself at 11pm, then at 10:30pm I would go in and feed both twins. Usually, they wouldn’t even open their eyes or really wake. But the result was that I was usually given a few hours to sleep soundly before needing to feed them again (instead of a mere 30min). Totally worth it.
9. We tried “Le pause”
Let pause comes from the book Bringing Up Bebe, where the author talks about the French technique of not picking your baby up the moment they cry out at night.
Instead, the author recommends giving them a pause, a moment to see if they can fall back to sleep on their own.
So we tried it. If, after a few minutes, they were still fussing, I went in and tended to their needs. However, I realized that in many cases they just needed to fall back asleep. We all wake several times a night, and most of the time, we’re able to fall back asleep. Babies are no different.
10. I helped them understand my arms did not equal sleep
Now, I haven’t spoken much about sleep training here, or the dreaded words “cry it out”.
With my first child, I was adamantly against crying to sleep and tried what felt like every non-crying sleep strategy under the sun. Still, she would wake up 8, 9, 10 times a night. Despite my best efforts, she had “learned” that she couldn’t fall asleep unless she was in my arms.
I realized that, eventually, I would need to teach my children that they can fall asleep in their beds by themselves. Whether that would happen at six months, one year, or five years old, it would have to happen. So, we helped her learn – with tons and tons of love – that her bed was a safe place, and that she was able to fall asleep in it.
While the twins weren’t as bad as she was, at around 9 months I realized that we still needed to help them understand that they didn’t need my arms to fall asleep each time. Yes, this included some tears (from them and me) – but it was a short period of time, and likely less crying than if they had cried for me for months and months after that.
Use your parental instincts to know what works for you, and of course feel free to try out all the different sleep training methods before you try this. However, if you do experience a small amount of tears in your sleep training endevours (and you know you’re doing it safely), it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. You’re helping your kids to learn healthy sleep habits that will help them for the rest of their lives.
This Too Shall Pass
If you’re having challenges getting your twins to sleep, you’re in good company. Every single twin parent I’ve spoken to has been there – every one.
Ultimately, we all want to get our twin to sleep.
So will your twins ever sleep through the night? Yes, mama. Yes they will.
And no matter what you decide on whether to sleep train twins or not, I hope this story of how I got my twins to sleep through the night has helped you in some small way. If there’s any way I can help you directly, or if you have twin sleep questions, don’t hesitate to shoot me an email.
We’re all in this together, and twin parents need to lean on each other more than others.
Need More Twin Sleep Tips?
10 Tips to get Sleep as a New Mom of Twins
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