10 Best Tips when Overwhelmed as a New Twin Mom
At some point as a parent of twins, you will become overwhelmed. There’s a good chance life will hit you all at once, where it feels like the world is crushing you. You’ll be okay – it passes, so your goal is just to get through it. That’s why I’ve pulled together the 10 best tips when getting overwhelmed as a new twin mom.
Because here’s the thing: if you know that not every day will be sunshine and rainbows, then the day when a mountain falls on you may not shake you up so much.
You’ll have survival tools to get through the moment, the hour, the day – and you’ll find that the next day is so much better.
So, without ado, here are the 10 best tips when overwhelmed as a new twin mom.
1 – Breathe
2 – Take a 5 Minute Time Out
3 – Call Your Mom
4 – The Magical Nectar of Coffee
5 – Use Your Baby Whisperer Tools
6 – Remember This Won’t Last Forever
7 – Call In Your Support Team
8 – Put Yourself Down for a Nap
9 – Lean on your Healthcare Team
10 – Remember You’re a Great Mom
1 – BREATHE
Place your hand on your belly (assuming you can spare a hand for twenty seconds, that is), and pause. Fill your torso up with air until you belly pushes out, while counting to ten as slowly as you can. Then, hold your breath while you count to six. Finally, breathe out while counting to ten as slowly as you can.
If your twins just won’t stop, or if you feel things become too much, just pause.
When we get stressed, we clench our muscles and shift our breathing from deep belly breathing to shallow chest breathing. Stop, and make sure you’re getting oxygen to all the right places. Breathe with your belly as you go through your day.
2 – TAKE A 5 MINUTE TIME OUT
If you have screaming babies, and absolutely nothing is calming them, and you just can’t handle another moment – leave the room.
I know, it can seem so wrong to leave them; but if you’re at your breaking point, it may be the best thing to do. Place them somewhere safe, and give yourself a five-minute time out. Go into the bathroom, break down if you need to, take a deep breath, splash some water on your face, then go back out to help them.
Sometimes, when a baby has been crying for hours, you feel like breaking. That’s okay. I can’t imagine a human alive where that wouldn’t find that to be a stressful situation. Taking five minutes to regain your composure, look at the list of things you can do to soothe your babies, then coming back in to help them might just be the best thing you can do – for both yourself, and for your babies.
3 – CALL YOUR MOM
Or your dad, or your best friend, or your sister. Basically, call whomever you feel will be the person you can cry to on the phone and get support from. Sometimes, just sharing your struggle and getting some reassurance is all you need to feel like yourself again.
Another great option is posting in a twin parenting group online. These people get you, and there’s a good chance that someone there has experienced what you’re going through right now.
In the moments that have you pinned to the ground and you feel like you’re suffocating, pick up the phone, and simply talk. You are not the only person who’s felt like this before, I can assure you.
4 – THE MAGICAL NECTAR OF COFFEE
I try not to drink caffeine. Shocking for a new mom, I know. I gave it up years ago when I started getting headaches on the weekend when I didn’t get my daily coffee dose. I’m actually huge, huge fan of coffee. I love the aroma, the taste, and the feeling how coffee almost wraps around me and gives me a hug. Switching to decaf worked for me.
That said, I indulged in coffee when my twins came into the world. It never got me to 100% energized (and therefore, it rarely kept me awake if I tried to nap), but even a 20% boost in energy could help me get through the day.
Of course, follow your doctor’s recommendation on caffeine consumption, especially if you’re breastfeeding, but a little coffee here or there may help you to feel more human.
5 – USE YOUR BABY WHISPERER TOOLS
Make a list of tools that you can try when attempting to soothe babies. Refer to your list in The Early Days, and refer to it often. You have more options at your disposal than you think.
For the best tips to get a baby to stop crying, check out my top 20 best solutions when a baby won’t stop crying.
6 – REMEMBER THIS WON’T LAST FOREVER
Perspective: it’s easier said than done when you’re in the heat of the moment, but try to remember that these days are fleeting.
If you’re able to remember that this is a truly blip in time, that there are very few months that are actually going to be this challenging, and that these are the days you’ll want to return to someday, then you may be able to pull yourself out of the fog.
While it sounds hilarious to savor middle-of-the-night wakeups, try to do it. Don’t wish the time away. Before you know it, these days will be gone. They’ll become but a memory you reminisce about. So hold onto those days of pure love as long as you can.
7 – CALL IN YOUR SUPPORT TEAM
Call a friend to come over and help. Ask a relative to drop what they’re doing and pop over. Call a babysitter, or nanny, or mother’s helper, or meal delivery, or cleaner, or whomever you need, and get support in there right away.
Don’t feel bad. these moments won’t happen every day. When you’re feeling crushed, ask for help and do not feel guilty. You can return the favor in the years to come.
8 – PUT YOURSELF DOWN FOR A NAP
Sleep can make everything better. Getting a good night’s sleep can make you feel like everything is possible, and that the world is not as overwhelming as you had thought.
On a really rough day, one where your babies woke before the sun, put yourself down for a nap minutes as soon as you put your twins down.
I know, it can be tempting to revel with solo time on the couch while your twins snooze. Or, you may stress that you won’t actually get any sleep, because they’ve been having 30-minute naps lately. But think about how many times you decide to skip a nap for just that reason, and that’s the day they decide rock a two-hour power nap?
Do yourself a favor and give your body a recharge every chance you get. It will truly make you feel like you can handle all the curveballs life with twins can throw at you.
9 – LEAN ON YOUR HEALTHCARE TEAM
Build yourself a healthcare team that can support you along this journey, both before and after your twins arrive. That team could include your family doctor, a specialist, a naturopath, a physiotherapist, a counselor, a nutritionist, and a plethora of other healthcare providers. If you’re in a low moment, remember that there are so many people out there that you can lean on.
When you have your head in your hands, reach for your phone, and send a message about appointment availability. You can cancel it if you end up feeling better, but the best thing you can do in your dark moments is to reach out.
Trust me, you are not the first parent to struggle. No matter how bad you think you’re feeling, they’ve heard it all before. There are healthcare experts sitting there just waiting for people they can help. This can be the best investment in yourself you ever make.
You Are a Great Mom
Remember this – just because you have a bad day doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. The very fact that you’re taking a minute out of your super busy day to read these 10 best tips when overwhelmed as a new twin mom means you’re a mom who cares.
Everyone has hard moments, and being a new mom is not easy. Being a twin mom? It’s next level. Congratulate yourself for the little wins. Even getting caught up on dishes and laundry in the same day can be a Herculean task when you’re caring for two little ones.
Read Next:
What the First Month with Twins Is Really Like
Minimalist Twin Baby Registry Checklist
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