Top 10 Tips for Bringing Home Twins
When you first bring your twins home from the hospital, you may be on an (exhausting) high. Then a few sleepless nights hit, and you realize caring for your little ones might be a wee bit harder than you thought. That’s why I compiled the top 10 tips for bringing home twins.
No matter what your twin birth experience was like, you’re probably pretty excited to be leaving the hospital and finally starting the life that you’ve dreamed about for these past 8+ months.
You finally get to see those little faces that you helped create. You get to stare into their beautiful eyes, watchg their tiny fingers wrap around your pinky, and see them take in the world around you. Those moments can be what make life worth living.
That said – it’s not to say by any means that life will be easy. The first few months with twins can be a blur. As you work to establish order from chaos, there are some tips for the early days that can help make life easier. By establishing these strategies right from the get-go, you put yourself in the best position possible to thrive with twins.
1 – GET ON A ROUTINE ASAP
2 – HELP THEM FIGURE OUT DAY FROM NIGHT
3 – START SLEEP “TRAINING”
4 – LIMIT VISITORS
5 – TAKE A VACATION FROM YOUR LIFE
6 – GET OUTSIDE
7 – SIGN UP FOR CLASSES
8 – FIND YOUR TWIN TRIBE
9 – GET THE RIGHT GEAR
TIP 1 – GET ON A ROUTINE ASAP
First up on the top 10 tips for bringing home twins is getting your twins on a routine. That doesn’t mean creating a strict schedule that you never waver from. It does, however, mean doing twin tasks at the same time, and trying to consolidate most of their sleeping hours to when it’s dark out.
The most important thing to remember is to try to do things for both twins at the same time. This means if you change one diaper, change them both. If one wakes, then wake the other. If you feed one, feed the other. Lumping tasks together is the only way to maximize the chance that you’ll have any time to yourself and ensure you’re not waking every hour to feed (because none of us want that).
For sample schedules and more, check out the Daily Schedules for Twins.
TIP 2 – HELP THEM FIGURE OUT DAY FROM NIGHT
Many babies, much to their parents’ dismay, have a natural tendency to be awake at night and sleepy during the day. This exhausted mama could attest to that.
It’s my personal belief that babies are lulled to sleep in the womb when you’re moving (i.e. during the day), and wake more when you’re still (i.e. when you sleep at night). Then, when babies come earth-side and are told to switch it up, they naturally struggle. That wouldn’t be an easy task for any of us, baby or not.
It then becomes our job as parents to help teach them that nighttime is for sleeping and daytime is for play. The alternative is we risk becoming nocturnal ourselves.
There’s good news here. The best resource to do this is already at your disposal. It’s free, readily available no matter where you are in the world, and is easily accessible: sunlight.
The simple process of exposing your twins to bright sunlight early in the day, and keeping nighttime dark, quiet, and boring, can help reset their sleep rhythms. As soon as they wake, get them into a bright room and limit time spent in darkness during the day.
While it’s tempting to let them rest so you can rest during the day, the goal is to get all of you sleeping at night, even if that means less sleep time during the day.
TIP 3 – START SLEEP “TRAINING”
Don’t worry, I’m not condoning letting your babies cry it out or to start sleep training programs in month one. The air brackets in sleep “training” mean to pick the sleep method you’re most comfortable with, the one you’d like to use months down the road, and start incorporating the elements they recommend starting early from day 1.
For example, many sleep strategies recommend putting baby down drowsy but awake. If you breastfeed them to sleep for every nap until your twins are six months old, you’re going to have a hard time starting the “drowsy but awake” strategy out of nowhere. If you start placing your baby down while they’re still awake from their first week of life, they won’t have such a hard adjustment to starting it months down the road.
The best strategy is to read sleep methods before your babies arrive. Do your research, decide which programs and which elements from those programs you want to consider using, and figure out which of those elements (like putting them down drowsy but awake) they recommend starting from day one.
Your goal, ultimately, is to help them adopt healthy sleep habits from day one. It won’t be perfect (does that even exist in parenting?), but it will help your chances for future success. For more on sleep, check out how to get twins to sleep.
TIP 4 – LIMIT VISITORS
People will probably be pretty eager to come visit and meet your twinnies. After all, most humans find babies adorable and are naturally drawn to them (well, at least until their wails start). However, I want you to consider limiting the number of visitors over the first few weeks, for a few reasons.
For starters, your body will be in full recovery mode. Whether you had a c section or vaginal delivery, you’re likely to be quite sore, moving more slowly than usual, and may be dealing with stitches. If you’re breastfeeding, you’re probably working hard to get your supply up and you may be sore. I promise you that of all your priorities, sweeping, tidying, and cleaning will likely not be at the top.
If you have someone coming purely to help, then by all means let them in. If it’s colleagues or acquaintances, however, consider having them come a few weeks down the road.
An easy excuse for this is to simply say that you’re limiting visitors until they’ve hit their expected due date (40 weeks) to ensure their immunity is strong. As almost all twins come before that time, it gives you a few weeks grace period to recover, and to bond together as a family.
TIP 5 – TAKE A VACATION FROM YOUR LIFE
As I said, the first few weeks are likely to be intense – there’s little way around it. For me, the moment I accepted that, life became more manageable. Until then, I was trying to get over the exhaustion, to get back to the world I knew. Once I accepted that my main job was to feed babies and sleep, it’s like I went on vacation from my regular life. My only real job was to feed them and sleep, feed and sleep. Everything else could wait.
Despite feeling suffocating, there was something almost freeing to it. I had no social obligations. Everyone understood how busy our lives were. I could literally stay in bed all day if I wanted to.
Of course, I ended up doing a lot more than that – but the feeling that I didn’t have to was freeing.
Consider treating the first month after having twins as a vacation from the majority of responsibilities of everyday life. Do what you can during pregnancy to prepare for it, then be okay doing the bare minimum during that first month.
Of course, you’ll still need to eat, shower, pay your bills, etc., but it’s okay if standards are lowered. Frozen dinners and not showering every day? You get a free pass. You’ll get back to normal soon. Enjoy this bubble until then.
TIP 6 – GET OUTSIDE
Getting out of the house can be vital to improving your mood, getting your blood flowing, and exposing yourself and your babies to a good dose of vitamin D (just remember to allow the babies too much sun exposure). Even when you’re on your first month “vacation”, I urge you to get outside, assuming you’re green-lit from your doctors to do so.
While it can seem daunting to get everyone packed up and out the door (and let’s be real – it is), even going for a quick walk around the block may make all the difference. Staying cooped up indoors isn’t healthy for any of you in the long run, despite how comforting it may seem.
If your babies are quite premature and you fear having them out in public, consider heading out for a solo trip. Sometimes just running out to grab a few things from the grocery store alone, or getting a coffee sans babies can be just the break you need to recharge and to feel like yourself again. I remember how my first solo trip to get blood drawn postpartum felt like a visit to the spa.
TIP 7 – SIGN UP FOR CLASSES
Parent and tot classes can be the perfect opportunity to connect with other new parents. Because it can be tempting to stay home with your twins, signing up for a class before they arrive can be the best way to ensure you all get out of the house.
Granted, most other parents in the class will be attending with just one baby, it’s rarely a bad idea to build up your circle of friends, especially those who can relate with this who new parenthood thing. They don’t judge when you have spit up on your shirt, or that you’re wearing your unshampooed hair in a messy top bun, or your baby throws up on the yoga mat (been there).
If you’re lucky, you may even find a multiples class. Finding twin parents is the ideal goal, as there’s nobody better equipped to understand what you’re going through. This leads us to the next tip…
TIP 8 – FIND YOUR TWIN TRIBE
Next up on the top 10 tips for bringing home twins is to find your twin tribe. Because let’s face it – nobody will quite “get” you like another twin parent.
Twin parents have been bonded through this experience you’ve both been through. They understand what it’s like trying to carry two babies to term and how intense the newborn phase can be. They also understand the struggles in trying to give individualized attention and all the other unique things twin parents experience.
TIP 9 – GET THE RIGHT GEAR
While it’s true that newborns really require very few things (diapers, a few outfits, car seats, milk, and cribs to state the biggest), having a few other pieces of gear in place can make your life a whole lot easier.
The Gear section outlines this thoroughly, with tips on what to invest in and what you can consider skipping. Trust me that not every baby product made is necessary. Some products, however, have the ability to give you two precious things: time to yourself and extra rest. Are there really any better things to new parents?
Swings, for example, can relax a fussy baby. Soothers can help a cranky baby relax. Swaddle sacks can help babies sleep better (and it’s my belief that anything that helps baby sleep better is pretty much worth its weight in gold). Each parent picks their own inventory of goods that they believe will help them. This list is just a recommendation from someone who’s been there and chatted with other twin parents about what worked.
My vote is usually to be a minimalist, and only spend your dollars and space on gear that will truly help. I’ve recappd my top recommendations in the Ultimate Minimalist Twin Registry Checklist, available free for a limited time on this blog.
Just Remember…
Bringing twins into your world can be a hectic, crazy time. These top 10 tips for bringing home twins, though, can hopefully make your world just a little bit easier.
One last point: this time will be gone in a flash.
No matter how hard it is, you will some day long to return to these sleepless, beautiful nights. Through the exhaustion, treasure these moments. Smell your twins’ heads, gaze into their curious eyes, and above all, take a thousand photos and videos.
Already, I’d give a lot to return to one of those exhausting, cuddle-filled newborn days.
Read Next:
What the First Month with Twins Is Really Like
Minimalist Twin Baby Registry Checklist
Follow along on social @TwinWinning
