How to Make the Return to Work After Baby Easier
As if learning how to cope with twins wasn’t hard enough, just when you feel like you’ve gotten the hang of things, it’s time to return to work. Many parents really struggle leaving their paternity leave bubble. It can be a huge challenge to kiss your new babies goodbye and transition back into the work force. Fortunately, we have ways to make it easier! Read on for tips to help you figure out how to make the return to work after baby easier and live your best life.
First off, there are some obvious physical things that can make a big impact on your overall wellness. talking about things like:
- Eating well
- Getting a good night’s rest before your first day
- Arranging childcare early so it doesn’t become a last-minute stress
- Doing a few trial runs so your kiddos get used to their new caregivers
- Setting your alarm earlier than you think
- Taking some time to yourself the week before you start, whether that’s getting a haircut, a new outfit, or anything else that will make you feel your best
- Having a great baby tracker, for your caregivers to share how your babies’ days have been
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What I want to talk with you about today, though, and what I believe are true game changers, are tips that will help you change the narrative. They’re the things that can help you catch yourself when you feel tears coming on and need a reminder of why this is the right move for you. It’s getting past the physical prep, and thinking about how you can mentally change your perspective when the call of Mother Nature is urging you to stay by your little ones.
Let’s take a look at the 5 ways to help you mentally make the leap back to work.
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1. Remember It’s Not Permanent
One reason why this transition can feel so challenging is that it may feel as though this will be the last time in your life you’ll ever get this much bonding time with your kids.
Let that go.
You have no idea what the future holds. You could move to a new city or a new country. You could take a sabbatical, or get a flexible opportunity that you didn’t expect, or have another baby and take another mat leave (even if you’re not planning on it!). You could even change your mind and decide to switch to staying home a few months down the road, or move to a work from home position, or a contract position.
There are so many different possibilities that could come your way, and you truly don’t know what the future holds. If you think it’s the last time you’ll ever get time off again, think again. There are so many flexible opportunities that could come your way.
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2. Take a One Month Responsibilities Vacation
If you’re in a mad rush to get everything done before returning to work, stop and remember this:
The two weeks before you return have the potential to be two of the hardest weeks of your leave (and if you remember the hard early days, that’s saying something). You’re probably trying to get a ton of things done, stressing about what the return will be like, getting your house in order, figuring out a pumping schedule, getting used to childcare, and potentially weaning, which comes with a huge hormone shift in itself which may heighten your already sky-high emotions.
Any one of these factors has the potential to dramatically impact your life. If you feel sad, anxious, or stressed during this time, know that you’re very normal. In fact, nature and biology does just about everything to get women to want to stay with their babies.
Add onto that the emotional impact of leaving your babies, and it’s easy to become a blubbering mess.
That’s why it’s important to savor this time. Similar to how we let a lot of responsibilities go when your twins were born (if you haven’t yet, read that link!), it’s also time let things go now. Focus on them again in a month. To make the return to work after baby easier, cut out responsibilities until you’re down to only the must-do essentials.
Enjoy these last few weeks of time with your babies and the first two weeks of being back. Relax. Give yourself space. Give yourself time to get into this new routine before you make any major decisions.
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3. Make a List of Working Perks
Regardless of how awesome your mat leave has been, it’s undeniable that work holds some perks that staying home doesn’t. Next up on how to make the return to work after baby easier, is to list out those working perks.
Some examples?
- Coffee breaks (with nobody tugging at your leg!)
- Quiet break rooms
- Free lunches
- Paid conferences or travel
- Bonuses
- Adult conversation, including after dinner drinks, lunchtime yoga, and all the fun things
- A fab styling wardrobe
- The paycheck!
When you’re struggling thinking about leaving your kids, remember this list.
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4. Make a List of Stay At Home Drawbacks
While being on maternity leave may hold a rosy glow, there’s a good chance you’re forgetting some of the harder moments. Especially if you’re in the height of the cute baby moments, you could be overlooking some of the hard toddler moments to come. Think of things like:
- The terrible twos
- Screaming – remember the nonstop screaming
- Spending an hour making lunch, which is then thrown at your face
- Changing all the diapers
- Waking after a 30min nap, right when your lunch is ready
- Cheerios in unimaginable places
- Never having a moment to yourself to drink your hot coffee
While being a parent is incredible, there can also be some incredibly hard moments.
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5. Ask for What You Want
A tip that many new parents overlook is asking for flexibility or modification in your job. New parents have so many more options than just returning to work 40+ hours per week, or not working at all. Consider these options to make the return to work after baby easier:
- Return to your current role full time
- Return to a different role at your current organization full time
- Return to your current role part time, via job sharing or rearranging work responsibilities
- Return to a different role at your current organization full time
- Return to a different role at your current organization part time
- Start at a new organization full time
- Start at a new organization part time
- Start self-employment, via a network marketing business, an online business, a website, blog, selling a physical product in stores/online/Etsy, offering a service, like photography, event planning, consulting, etc. – the options are endless!
- Stop working entirely
It can be scary to ask for flexibility or modifications, especially if you have always given the perception that your career is your number one priority. But we humans are just that – human. We love long weekends, and time with families, and travelling.
You just need to ask for it in a way that will make them want to say yes.
When you’re looking to how to make the return to work after baby easier, remember that you have options. At the end of the day, don’t believe the trap that you are locked into only option A or option B. Thousands and thousands of people have picked option C, D, and E, or created their own.
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You’ve Got This, Mama
If you’re stressing about how to make the return to work after baby easier, know that you’re not the only one. Many, many new parents struggle with it.
If you choose to stay home, know that it’s probably the right decision for you at this stage of life. It’s worth it to give it a chance, and remember – it doesn’t have to be forever.
And if you want (or have) to return to work? Remember that you are stronger than you know.
You’ve got this, mama.
