How To Survive 3 Under 3: My Personal Experience
“How do you do it as a mom of twins??” If you’re a twin mom, you’ve undoubtedly heard that question. Or if you have a litter of young kiddos, you’ve likely heard something similar. Trust me, I have no secret handbook that taught me how to survive 3 under 3 (and on the rare day, how to thrive with 3 under 3). So when people ask my how I do it, my response is:
You just do it. And if you were in my shoes, you would too.
Day by day, hour by hour, you show up for your little ones. There’s simply no other option. You’re there on the good days, the bad days, the sucky days, the blissful days, and all days in between. You keep waking up, getting through the day, and repeating. Before long, you come to realize – you’ve figured out how to survive 3 under 3.
I compiled a few tricks that I used to help myself survive, listed below. Before we get to that though, if you’re new to twins first check out the free downloadable resources I built to help make the transition easier:
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1. I Triage
Every morning when I wake up and three little ones are demanding me, I triage. Who needs me most? Who is closest to meltdown territory? You get my attention. They say children of multiples learn better patience, and it’s likely out of necessity.
Sometimes you simply can’t get to every child immediately. I’ve learned over time that it’s not catastrophic for a baby to wait 90 seconds until I can get to them.
If two of them are losing it? We were given two arms for a reason.
If all three of them are losing it? See the situation as a moment in time, and do whatever you can to get through. Offer snacks. Pull out the toy you hold for emergencies. Consider screen time, if you do that (we don’t). Basically, have a handful of go-tos on hand. And when all else fails, laugh. It’s better than crying.
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2. I Find Ways to Enjoy Life
It can be hard when your entire world revolves around other people. Especially for us introverts, it can feel exhausting. That’s why I firmly believe that you need to find ways to feel like you’re living your best life.
Your old normal doesn’t exist anymore – mourn it, and move on. You now have a pretty amazing opportunity to create your new normal. Build your life the way you want it to be. There are few times in life when we get to do that!
Some examples I’ve heard from other moms of how they build “best lifeness” into their very busy lives:
- Get a gourmet coffee machine
- Get in daily walks with the stroller for a good dose of vitamin D
- Start a blog (hi!)
- Start a new creative habit during naps (calligraphy, painting, writing, etc.)
- Take a night class
- Go to bed 30min early and read each night
- Start a workout regime (does your gym offer child minding, or can you bring your stroller to your condo gym?)
- Meal delivery some of your favorite foods
- Take a shower every day – laugh if you want, but it actually becomes a luxury
- Try aromatherapy or essential oils
- Find some recipes you like and indulge in your inner foodie
Basically it comes down to this: find things you love, and build them into your day.
You likely won’t have the time to indulge hours to yourself anymore. But figure out what 5-20 min indulgences you can fit in. The small things, when combined, are what will make all the difference.
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3. I Let the Little Things Go
There are days where I have a tidy and organized home. There are also days where it looks like a tornado rampaged its way through our condo. I’ve learned to be okay with those days.
The dishes will eventually get done. The dust will get cleared off of the bookshelf. But the slow moments you get to yourself and to your babies are limited. I officially give you permission to leave the dishes on the counter, and go take a nap.
I’ve been there, where it feels like the utter, overwhelming exhaustion is eating away at your very core. Eliminate the words “Super Mom” from your vocabulary immediately, becomes some days, just doing the bare necessities is a win.
Usually, the best gift you can give to yourself is sleep. Prioritize getting sleep as much as you can. It can truly be the difference between believing things are utterly impossible, and feeling like you can take on the world. Sometimes, I feel like sleep is pretty much my basis of how to survive 3 under 3.
Do you feel bad about letting things slide? In a word: don’t. I let so many things slide, it’s not even funny. Some days I have to remind myself I’m still a good mom. Some of the things I’ve let slide?
- I let the babies wear their jammies all day…and if I’m behind honest, sometimes into the next day
- Not mopping. We’ll vacuum and spot clean, and get a cleaner every so often, but it’s not uncommon for me to not pull out a mop for several weeks…okay, sometimes months
- Clean the kitchen only once per day…or once every 2nd day
- Gone a few days without getting the babies out of the house (especially in the winter)
- Have my hubby come home asking “what’s for dinner” and I stare at him with blank eyes
- Let the laundry pile up for a week
- Paid for help. We’ve used both daycare and nanny support periodically over our first year with 3 kids. I do my best to let that guilt go.
Am I nervous to put these out there on the internet? You bet. But it’s important that you know not all moms have it together all the time. We’re not instagram perfect. That photo with the two happy babies in cute outfits on a trip outside? It may have taken me hours to set up.
We get through day-by-day, doing the best we can, and ultimately hope with all our hearts that it results in happy, healthy kiddos. We learn how to survive 3 under 3.
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You CAN Do This Too
Pretty much ever other twin mom I’ve ever met has had “the fear”: the fear they won’t be able to handle it, the fear they’ll be constantly exhausted, the fear that they won’t be good enough.
But you know what? It’s almost never as bad as you expect it will be. Sure, the first few months can be intense (see here for tips on how to make it easier). If you struggle during this time – it’s not only okay, it’s common and normal. But little by little, it gets easier. At some point, you’ll find that the last few months have gotten easier and easier, and you’ve started to figure out how to survive 3 under 3 – in your own way.
If you’re reading this, it’s likely because you care, and that simple fact means you’re probably going to be a pretty awesome mom of 3 (or more). If you ever doubt it, or need encouragement, please send me a message. I’ll happily remind you how great you will be, and how it gets so much easier with time.
We’ve got this.
