When I found out I was having twins, a million thoughts started racing through my mind. Chief among them was “how am I going to do this?” Almost immediately, I got to work on info gathering. I scoured Google, Pinterest & Instagram for advice from twin moms who have made it. And so came the best advice for twins I ever received.
I couldn’t comprehend how I would have the time to feed, bathe, nurture, educate and care for two babies 24/7 – let alone take care of everyday activities like cooking for the family, tidying the home, etc. But then I got this advice:
Do whatever gets you through the day.
In other words? Let things slide. It’s the best advice for twins I ever received.
If there’s a pile of dishes in the sink, and the windows haven’t been washed in weeks, but there are babies with smiles on their faces? Consider it a win.
If your twins stay in their jammies all day, or you go a few days without a shower, but they’re being well fed and gaining weight? Celebrate it.
Coming to the realization that some things are going to slide – and that’s okay – was a huge relief for me. We get takeout a little more often. We pay a cleaner to come, and usually let the dust pile up in the meantime. And I certainly don’t have lipstick and a dress on when my husband comes home from work.
When you have twins, you simply have to find shortcuts. It can take an extraordinary amount of time and energy to take care of these two little ones, especially in the early months. And if you have other children at home? You need them even more.
But I’ve learned to focus on the things that matter, and that’s why it’s the best advice for twins I ever received. In a few years time, I won’t remember the dishes in the sink. I’ll remember the times on the floor playing with my babies, and the goofy grin they gave me, or the day trips we took, or the rare quiet moments when I could grab a hot drink on the couch and revel in silence.
Trust me – moments like that, the little things that give you joy – those are worth it. Finding time to yourself is a huge part of the best advice for twins I ever received. A few ideas for treating yourself:
- Connecting with other moms in baby classes
- Feeling the warm sunshine on your face as you take babies on a morning stroll
- Taking an evening class, to engage your brain with time to yourself
- Loading up on your favorite meals and snacks at home
- Starting an activity you love during nap times (painting, blogging, writing, working out)
- Indulging in a new Netflix series while you feed your babies
- Enjoying a hot beverage in 5min of silence. Even having it in the bathroom with the fan on can work if it’s the only silent place available.
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Don’t be under any illusions that you’ll have an excess of time to yourself (you won’t), but even 5min here and there help give you much-needed balance. Find those little indulgences. Because as your entire world starts to revolve around others, being kind to yourself may make all the difference.
Because here’s the thing. Your life is going to be chaotic – but each month typically gets easier than the last. Each month I’ve been able to do a little bit more, and bit by bit it started to become a bit easier.
There you go – the best advice for twins I ever received. It’s not revolutionary. It is, however, the kind of advice that appears in little moments all throughout your life. I believe that life is made up of little moments, and that the small things can often impact your life more than the big things.
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One Last Thing
The last thing I want to remind you of, is that this period of life is fleeting.
There will come a day, however hard it may be to imagine now, that you’ll want to return to return to these sweet baby moments, even if just for a moment. You’ll look back on this time, even the 3am wake ups, with rose colored glasses. And you’ll want to give almost anything for the chance to snuggle your babies just one more time.
So consider, even if just for a day, letting the chores rest. Instead, cuddle up with your babies and give yourself a little treat. Smell their heads. Stare into their eyes. Feel the softness of their cheeks.
It may just make all the difference.
