How to Survive Twins: The First 6 Months
We’ve all heard the stories of how hard the newborn days can be – the mom with dark circles under her eyes, a messy top knot hiding the fact she hadn’t showered in days, and yoga pants as her “fancy” outfit. So if you recently found out you’re having twins, you may be asking yourself: If handling one newborn is that hard, how on earth am I going to manage with two?? Don’t worry, mama. We have the tips on how to survive twins!
I hear you. I, and pretty much every twin mom I know, has asked themselves that very question. Finding out I was having twins at 11 weeks was incredible – but also slightly terrifying.
With my twins now 9 months old, however, I’m seeing the light. The first 6 months were not easy. In fact, I don’t think I realized how hard they were until they were over. We even have a post for 5 Tips for Newborn Twins, and it was still hard. But for me, the 6 month mark is when things seemed to suddenly get easier. So to help you get there faster, I’ve compiled my tips on how to survive twins (and thrive with them too!). If you’re still pregnant, also make sure to check out our Ultimate Twin Pregnancy To Do List.
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1. Let things slide
Oh, I had visions of being the perfect mom and partner. I would have on a dress and lipstick at the end of every day when my hubby came home. The reality was that if I wasn’t wearing what I had slept in, I considered it a win.
Simply put, this is the time of life to let the little things go. And some of the medium stuff. And okay, one or two big things may fall through the cracks temporarily too.
You’ll get them back. This phase doesn’t last forever. So until you’ve gotten yourself and your family out of the deep end, be okay with letting things slide. Hire help if you feel getting rid of the dust bunnies is incredibly important. But if not, understand that it’s totally okay, and you’ll likely get to your new normal eventually.
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2. Get the Right Gear
Here’s the thing baby manufacturers don’t tell you: babies require very few things for those first few months. They require a car seat, a crib, food, and a few outfits. Most other things are optional.
That said, some products can be extremely helpful. But how to know what to get and what to skip? Here at Twin Winning, we’ve pulled together the Minimalist Twin Registry Checklist, which shows which product to consider getting, which to skip, and which to double up on. We also have this post for Twin Baby Gear Must Haves to Make Life Easier.
Things like Sleep Sacks can be magical tools in helping newborns to sleep. Soothers can feel like lifesavers, when your baby has been crying for an hour, you’ve done everything you can possibly think of, and you’re on the verge of tears yourself. You will be grateful for an option. Just know the tools that can truly help, and which ones can be skipped.
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3. Track Everything
Next up on how to survive twins, is to track everything. When you’re first starting out, keeping track of who was fed last, how much, how many poos per baby, who is behind on naps, etc. can be challenging. It’s so easy to miss something, even if you’re the main record keeper. Add a second or third set of hands in the mix, and it’s pretty much impossible to keep track.
That’s where writing it down comes in hand. While I almost always pick electronic over paper, this is one case where I pick paper, primarily so it’s accessible by everyone.
There are so few trackers for twins available, that I actually made my own. For the free printable PDF tracker for twins, click here.
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4. Find Your Twin Tribe
Twin moms just get it. We deal with a whole other level than what Singleton parents go through, and it’s given us a badge of honor. When we pass another mom with a twin stroller on the street, we instantly connect.
And while it requires putting yourself out there, and going on a hunt for twin moms, please put in the effort. It’s so worth it.
- Ask your doctor if they know of any multiple groups
- Search for groups on Facebook
- Find people on Pinterest posting about twin articles, follow them, and message to say hi (I’m on Pinterest @TwinWinning, if you want to say hi!)
- Google twin blogs
- Google if there are any national or local multiples organizations or chapters
- Ask nurses at the hospital when you give birth
- Check out local community centres if you live in a large place
- Check out meetup.com
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5. Have a Formula Plan
Regardless of your stance on formula, have some in your cupboard and sterilize some bottles before babies arrive. The early days of breastfeeding can be tough, and producing enough for two little humans can be taxing.
Even if you plan on exclusively breastfeeding, you will not want to add researching and shopping to your to do list in those those exhausting early days. At the very least, decide on a brand, formulation, price point, and mixture that you’re happy with, and load it into your Amazon cart. That way, if babies aren’t gaining weight fast enough, and you have to supplement, you’re ready to go.
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6. Onesies Over Cute Outfits
We received some really cute baby clothes. Adorable. And it looked pretty sweet folded in the drawer, unused.
The fact of the matter is functionality comes first. Onesies and PJs with zippers are totally ok for babies to wear all day long. When they’re young and immobile, it’s even ok to not change them out of their PJs for a night if they haven’t spit up on them.
It’s totally fine to let them wear these easy outfits, and save the cute ones for their monthly photos. As you’re figuring out how to survive twins, you’ll soon realize that cute outfits rank pretty low on the priority list.
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7. Give In To Sleep
I know. When babies have been clinging to you constantly, and they’re finally in bed, all you want to do is sit on the couch ALONE and relax. Giving up your solo time to sleep feels can feel draining.
And you’re right. But that one extra hour of sleep can be the difference between feeling like you can take on the world, and feeling like that world is crushing you.
As hard as it may feel, drag your exhausted butt to bed. You will not regret doing so. When I started going to bed at 10 instead of 11:30, I became a whole new woman, partner, and mom, with more patience for everyone.
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8. Accept Help
People will offer to help when you have twins. It’s often in the form of “please let me know how I can help”. If you’re anything like me, your auto response is “thanks, I really appreciate it”…then you go home and continue to try to do it all yourself.
People are pretty honest when they say they’d like to do something to help. A way to get over your fear of asking is to have a list available, and to pick something that suits the person helping.
- Your friend who runs a food blog? Could she maybe grab groceries or come over to cook a few meals (you’ll provide the wine)?
- Your sister who is sweet but disorganized, can she just come cuddle babies for a couple hours so you can organize the house?
- Or your coworker who’s never held a baby before, can he drop off a few things on his way home from the office?
Find ways to cater to their strengths, show how much you appreciate it, and they’ll be proud to have helped.
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9. Plan Something For Yourself
What? I thought I was learning how to survive twins. Should I really focus on me, now, when I have two needy babies clinging to my body? Yes. Absolutely yes. Having something you can look forward to, that’s just for you, can make all the difference in your outlook on things. Here are a few ideas:
- Take a night class
- Strike up a creative hobby like painting, drawing, calligraphy, pottery, writing
- Start a blog (check out my guide here)
- Write a story/novel/kid’s book
- Start an Etsy business
- Plan a girl’s overnight trips
- Sign up for a sports league
- Start physical training for an event
- Plan a family vacation – yes, with twins!
Will these be easy? Unlikely. Are they possible? You bet.
Have an honest conversation with your partner, and have each of you pick something you’d like to try over the course of the twin’s first year. It can be hard to fathom,but once it’s on the calendar, you’ll start to get excited. It will help you live your best life, and look back on the year with pride.
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10. Let It Be
The last stage of how to survive twins is to just let it be. Let everything else go, and just give in to it. Your sole purpose right now is to feed and sleep. Feed and sleep, feed and sleep, on repeat. Instead of seeing that as exhaustion and boredom, flip the switch.
Most of your other responsibilities have been put on hold. You don’t have any social commitments right now. You don’t have work shifts or emails from your boss pinging. You don’t even have to shower daily. Every day can be a pj party!
Focus on the benefits of this stage of life. It’s one of the few times where you get to take a vacation from your real life responsibilities. You get to nap each afternoon. You get to bake, meet up with friends at 2pm, indulge in hobbies during nap time. There’s a lot to this phase of life that can be awesome.
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It Gets Easier
There will be hard days while you figure out how to survive twins. Moments when you want to swear, and lock yourself in the bathroom for 5min, and cry. They happen to all of us. But you know what I’ve learned now that we’ve hit the 9 month mark?
One: These moments are finite. They won’t happen every day, and the good moments usually outweigh the bad.
Two: Each month gets easier than the last.
So let yourself cry, and swear, and do whatever you need to do. Then stand up, splash some water on your face, and go back to it. Pull out your arsenal of tools to help soothe babies (think feed, change, burp, carry, sing, white noise, take for a walk, etc.), and know that this moment will pass. Easier ones are on their way, mama, and you will make it there. One day you’ll wake up and realize you’ve figured out how to survive twins, because you’re just doing it.
And the crazy thing? As hard as it may be to believe, you’ll very likely look back on these intense times, and want to give almost anything to return to them, just for a moment. To the feeling of your baby snuggled in your arms, to the smell of their baby head, to the love that is coursing through your body right now (albeit,alongside exhaustion). Take the moment to savor these moments, because when they’re gone, they’re gone for good.
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Read Next:
How to Start a Mom Blog and Make Money
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